GERD, my nemesis, my friend (Life with acid reflux)
Let me introduce you to my lifelong friend GERDY. She’s been with me as long as I can remember, and has been by far, the most challenging of buddies. She literally makes me sick at times (actually, nearly everyday!), but has a strange way of making me be accountable. I try to show off and have a basket of greasy deep fried appetizers and she knocks me down to size within an hour. After a stressful day, a nice cold gin and tonic sounds like just the ticket, but wow, she makes me bitterly regret my choice soon after the first ice cube melts. Take a long digestion inducing walk after dinner? Really, can’t I just lay here on the couch and watch another Ted Talk on my laptop? Sure, go ahead, she says, and I will keep you awake the entire night regurgitating the show…and your dinner. That late night pizza celebration with friends looks like fun, so does that spicy salsa, and that chocolate mint pie, and that glass of Riesling…..Oh she is a bitch, that Gerdy. I try to sneak just a small serving, perhaps a few swigs, and it’s heartburn hell and esophageal spasms thanks to her.
So, exactly WHY am I friends with somebody who is such a complete joy killer and pain in the gut??? To be completely honest, I didn’t choose her, she chose me. At birth most likely, and I learned her name at age 16 when I couldn’t stop vomiting at night and escaping the relentless fire torch of pain in my chest. My saliva glands were working so hard to neutralize the acid in my throat I’d actually wake up hoarse and with a soaking wet pillow from drooling in my sleep. A doctor gave me a lower GI scope and I soon learned her name was GERD (gastro esophageal reflux disease), better known as acid reflux. This was in 1983 so there weren’t many great options besides Tums, Maalox and my home remedy, drinking neutralizing baking soda water. I was told to elevate the head of my bed at least 8 inches to help gravity keep the food in my stomach and I haven’t slept on a flat bed in 32 years. I was also told to avoid pretty much every item in my crappy teenage junk food diet, no more late night eating and knock off the beer party life. Which of course, hit deaf ears, and for the next 6 years I chugged my share of beer, fast food and antacids. And not surprisingly, felt like shit.
As with most things in life that we don’t want to face, denial becomes a comfortable place to hang out and I learned to accept that I just felt lousy. It was my curse, my burden and maybe it would simply go away on its own. Well, a non-functioning lower esophageal sphincter doesn’t have a change of heart and magically start closing and keeping your stomach acids where they belong. So I thankfully grew up, endured two pregnancies that would have been a breeze if not for the indescribable heartburn and chest pain, and slowly came to terms with this alter ego of mine. Being a mom quickly pushed me to start taking my health seriously and I learned to self- manage this GERD until it progressively became worse. In my early 30’s I went to see a most jaded and crabby old doctor who heard my story and dryly said, “Oh you probably already have Barrett’s Esophagus and quite possibly early signs of cancer. You need an endoscopy and biopsy immediately and I’m putting you on this new drug Prilosec. For life.” With my new groovy thing at home called the internet, I started researching this prognosis of his and figured if he was right about the cancer, I had about a year left to live. The endoscopy procedure, having a tiny camera shoved down your throat and into your stomach and small intestine so the entire trip can be recorded didn’t provide any great photo album worthy shots. It did, however, show I didn’t have the mutated lining called Barrett’s growing in my raw esophagus and the biopsies came back clean. The relief and peace of mind was incredible, I caught it in time, but the real miracle happened that first week. I took my first proton pump inhibitor, that little purple pill—which was patented at that time and my insurance company had to pay nearly $500 a month for me to take this drug—and discovered nirvana.
For the first time in decades, I slept like a baby. No waking up burping bitter acid, gulping down sharp rock like spasms in my throat, pacing the house waiting for the “Midnight Maalox Run” to kick in and put out the blowtorch. Sure, I still regurgitated my meals into my throat, but now it wasn’t full of acid so it didn’t hurt anymore. As long as I took that pill, and practiced my new lifestyle changes, it was like GERD became a friend I didn’t hear much from anymore. An old chum from school who was kind of a drag and you saw her once in awhile when you decided to have two drinks at a late night gathering, a can of soda or that big slice of chocolate dessert. But my quality of life just quadrupled and I finally felt pretty Normal.
But after 17 years of having my stomach acid eliminated and my other organs dissolving my food for me, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that I couldn’t keep taking this PPI. It says right on the box, don’t take it for more than a few weeks! But the doctors kept saying I had to stay on it or die from esophageal cancer. Okay, you win, and hell, it’s so easy. But my ‘gut feeling’, pun intended, only increased as more news stories surfaced about the dangers of longterm PPI use: kidney damage, increased deadly intestinal infections, osteoporosis from the inability to absorb nutrients, heart attack risk. I found a new tummy doctor and after explaining my feelings, she looked at me strangely and asked why I want to go off a drug that makes my condition so livable and is now a cheap OTC medication. All those dangers were news hype, she was sure, but if I insisted on going off of it, I had to try and replace it with an acid reducer to protect my pipes. I asked her about surgery options to physically alter my stomach to try and correct my condition and she laughed and said “You are a lousy candidate. You are thin, healthy, eat well, and take care of yourself. Surgery is for people who won’t do those things or haven’t had luck when they did. Try Zantec. But wean off the Prilosec gradually, you will be hit with bad withdrawal symptoms.” This was all the urging I needed, I love a good challenge and this decision felt like the right one for my health. So I immediately went to every other day, then every three days, and finally totally off and waited for the hyper acid pump retaliation to send me running back crying to the purple pill. I was spared the nasty rebound effect and one daily acid reducer (not eliminator) keeps me comfortable. GERDY and I were suddenly in much closer contact than we had been in years and with our reunion came many mixed feelings.
Like an old lover, I still pine for Prilosec at times, and miss the carefree days of having a much closer to normal food consumption life. After 3 years of being off that pill, I am very sensitive to everything I eat and drink and the acid reducer only works about half as well as the PPI. But I’m also so much more in touch with how I feel now that the artificial agent isn’t numbing my digestive tract. I can only have a few sips of alcohol on rare occasion, but geez, life goes on just fine. If we go out to eat, my partner is wonderfully understanding that it needs to be early in the day and the kind of place that offers some fresh alternatives. (Funny, his health has benefited immensely from following my dietary protocol!) I am more determined than ever to eat healthy whole foods and plenty of fruits and veggies and avoid those greasy and spicy monsters. Drinking soda isn’t even an option, carbonation in my throat feels like habanero sauce. Walking after supper is a great built in exercise plan as is eating light meals in the later afternoon and not filling my belly uncomfortably at night. And wow, my weight so easily regulates itself, my skin glows, I have plenty of energy and all those vitamins and minerals can stay in my body where they belong. Having this curse of a digestive disorder ironically makes me the healthiest I have ever been.
I’m a chef, and no, GERDY doesn’t give a rip that food and living the rich life is part of my work culture. I will never join in to guzzle glasses of red wine at an Italian restaurant 5 course meal slathered with tomato sauce and spicy sausage. It doesn’t even pay for me to take a foodie trip to Europe since I wouldn’t be able to partake in their extravagant late night meals. After a lifetime of knowing the price I will pay for partaking, it has become easy to watch others snarf down fried cheese curds and rich dark stouts and sip my glass of water. They feel sorry for me, but I don’t…I have my partner for life GERD sitting next to me. And she keeps me on the healthy and happier straight and narrow.
If you deal with heartburn/indigestion frequently, please ask your doctor to investigate and start the conversation about GERD. You don’t need to suffer, and your health will thank you!!
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